Girlfriend is having doubts in long distance relationship?
Ok, here's the situation. I've known this girl for 4 years and have been best friends with her for all of that time. We've since graduated from college and she's in grad school in Phoenix and I'm working full time in Colorado. We met up over spring break about 4 weeks ago and really hit it off and fell head over heels in love with each other. We both wanted to give it a shot and decided to be exclusive to each other. For the past 3 weeks things between us have been phenomenal, with cute IM conversations and phone calls and texts. Today however she tells me that she's having problems dealing with the distance from me. I've already booked a flight to see her in a little over 4 weeks and I really don't want this to fall apart before we see each other again and remember what made us fall in love in the first place. How can I console her and let her know that while the distance is hard, the end result will be worth the wait? Thank you for your help in advance. -Rich PS: She's told me that she wants things to work out, but at the same time she doesn't know if she can deal with being away from each other for such a long time. We've even told each other that we've never felt so strongly about someone before. I'm confident that this is just a minor relapse and that once she sees me again she'll remember what made her want to try a LDR in the first place I really think another variable that's adding to her frustration is she recently thought about going for her doctorate after she finishes with Grad school, so that'd mean another 5 years apart. Although I think that if we can get through this now, I'd be more than willing to move closer to her once she makes the move for grad school. I couldn't take another 5 years apart like this, and I don't think she could either. Mostly, she's stressing out now thinking about things that are over a year away. I wish she'd just realize what a great thing we have now, and roll with it when the time comes. Reply to one poster: We haven't lost any trust for each other. We totally trust one another. She just says that every day that goes by, she stresses more and more about how to deal with the fact that we're so far apart most of the time. We talked on the phone the other night about her doubts. She says that she needs to take a step back from everything. She says that instead of waking up everyday feeling excited about the relationship, she feels more stressed about it. She wants to take a step back and told me that she doesn't want to make any irrational decisions to end our relationship completely and that this is the only way she can deal with it. I'm still visiting her in May, and she said how things are between us once we're in person again will determine how she feels about this relationship. Does any girl here have ANY clue what she means by all of this? Could I have come across as smothering her and she just needs time away from me messaging her like we used to? Please help me, I'm in dire straights.
Singles & Dating - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
well me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now and i live in Louisiana and he lives in Texas although that is not as far as your situation it was still long distance. Just keep reassuring her that it will work out, keep reminding her of that spark that started it all, send her flowers, anything to let her know that you are thinking bout her, it does take alot of work i know first hand, but it is definatly all worth it in the end. Just keep letting her know that things will work out in the end. Good Luck and dont give up!
2 :
Only thing you can do is to talk to her and try to convince her that you are really serious about her, it is never easy to be in long distance relationship, and doubts are always there, been myself in this situation and it was pure hell some days, also we got through it and we moved in together after I sort out job transfer, so everything is possible but it will not be easy for you to convince her
3 :
Tell her what you just told us here :) If it was really meant to be, she'll jump at the chance If she's as much loving you as much as you are her; it'll work out. She's probably feeling the same way about you!
4 :
aww you guys sound sooo cute!! if you guys are so head over heels..why dont you guys move in together?...from best friends to lovers...i dont see why not.. have you tried talking 2 her via webcam...it might help or take more frequent trips to go see her
5 :
show her this question n she'll c u really do care........... n if she really likes you, she'll wait 4 u..... u 2 arent the only ones and things will work out.
6 :
One thing you have to understand is that long distance relationships are tough period. It is really hard walking out the door and seeing other couples walking hand in hand while your significant other is across the country. The most I can say is try to tell her how much you love her and really want to be with her. That's really all you can do. But hey with a twist: you've known her for four years already and you've been best friends the whole time. Wait a month and two and why not pop the question the next time you see her. Can't hurt. Its not you just met her.
7 :
I think you should tell her exactly what you told us. She is probably lonely and needs some validation that you really love her. Other than that, long distance relationships are hard. To make them work, you have to work extra hard and put in the effort to show you really care. Maybe send her some flowers. All girls love flowers. It makes us feel special. :) Hope that helps.
8 :
aww i have been in long distance relationships and i hate to say it but most of em don't even work..you can try but trust is very hard to gain if you lose it. very, very hard. 4 weeks isn't too long, you just have to keep reminding her of how good it'll be. goodluck
Title : Girlfriend is having doubts in long distance relationship
Description : Girlfriend is having doubts in long distance relationship? Ok, here's the situation. I've known this girl for 4 years and have be...